How I became fat...

I wasn't always fat. Nope, in high school I wore a size 12, but the kids picked on me for being "fat". Ok, so I wasn't a size 0 "barbie", but do you think a size 12 is considered fat? It's amazing how people can wear your self-esteem down till you actually believe you are worthless. But you know what? Everyone has a story. We can't use our past as a crutch for who we are today. Look, I was raped when I was 12, picked on for being fat and then actually became fat. By age 30 I was a whopping 250 lbs. I'm not telling you this for the pity nor making any excuses. No matter what happened to me in the past only made me the strong woman I am today. I never gave up trying to lose the weight and I'm so glad I didn't because this is my time-right here, right now.

Overall I'm healthy. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have diabetes, but I know I'm walking on limited time and if I don't start making some serious changes my near future of health could look very different.

My mom always said I was a happy baby. And to be honest, no matter what size I was, I was happy. Of course I longed to wear the nice clothes. I never understood why the fashion world never got that fat people want to look nice too. I wouldn't mind paying a few bucks more for the extra material but how come the cute, skinny chicks always had the choices of the latest fashion trends while I had/have to shop at big people's store that sell moo-moos and big ugly printed shirts. Yeah, give the fat chick something with a huge animal print to draw more attention to her.

I was a 2nd helping (2nd plate as big as the 1st), dessert eater. I would be on my 2nd helping before my husband even finished his 1st. And always had to have a dessert or felt incomplete if I didn't have something sweet afterwards. It's amazing, and gross, to realize all what I would eat. I actually would eat a whole 1.25 lbs of cheese raviolis and 5 cookies in one sitting. I know, how gross, huh?!

Since the 1st day I started on Paul's program I have never gone back for a 2nd helping (in 4 months) and maybe have a small dessert 2 a month and that's only if I cut back on my dinner just to be able to have the dessert. And I have never felt deprived or incomplete.

For people that don't believe food is an addiction, I pray that you never have to suffer from one. Food for me is equivilant to cigs to a smoker, crack to a drug addict, or alcohol to an alcoholic. The difference with food is we can never be rid of it. We can't go "cold turkey" and give food up. So some how we have to find peace with food. Make it our friend. Control it instead of it controlling us.

I just wanted to explain how I became fat. Like I said, we all have our stories that took us down the road of fat. But my story doesn't end. I am not going to be just another "fat statistic".